Jenelle Evans: F–k It, Dude! CPS Can Keep My Kids!

Around the time that Jenelle Evans joined QAnon, she also promised to release a series of YouTube videos in which she would “expose” her enemies — because that’s what these people do.

Like every other paranoid conspiracy theorist on the planet, Jenelle fancies herself some sort of crusader for truth, which is ironic, because no no one flings the BS quite like Ms. Evans.

Jenelle Is Upset

Amazingly, Jenelle actually made good on her word and delivered the first installment in her series last week.

Sure, it was a nonsensical, poorly-produced pity party in which Jenelle spewed one brazen lie after another, but that’s about what we expected.

We covered the whole mess here, in case you missed it:

Jenelle released the second installment in the series on Monday, and it’s not hard to see why she had no qualms about depositing this 30-minute bowel movement of lies on a holiday weekend when people were less likely to see it.

This boring mess of a production makes her first video look like Citizen Kane … if there were a scene in Citizen Kane in which one of the characters justifies his decision to shoot the family dog in front of his kids.

But you don’t have to take our word for it.

Jenelle Evans For QAnon

Thousands of intrepid souls have already watched at least part of Jenelle’s second attempt at creating her own reality show.

And the reviews should give you an idea of what sort of lies the Swamp Queen is cooking up this time.

Yet again, Jenelle is primarily focused on the events of the summer of 2019, a time when Child Protective Services was able to briefly liberate her children after an investigation determined that Evans and husband David Eason were unable to provide a safe home.

David, Ensley, a Chicken

As usual, the content here is mostly what you would expect.

Jenelle begins with an indictment of the judge who signed the order allowing authorities to move her kids to safer locations.

“He didn’t care I had a lawyer at the time, he still signed it. He signed the order based on allegations that David has a bad temper,” Evans says of the judge.

Jenelle with Kaiser and Ensley

So … he shouldn’t have acted to protect her kids because she has a lawyer?

Or … because David has a bad temper.

Yeah, we’re no lawyers, but we’re pretty sure that’s not how the family court system works in this country.

Anyway, from there, Jenelle rails against her own sister and tries to convince us that her beef with Barbara Evans was entirely fabricated for MTV cameras.

Jenelle Can Count

But the most absurd moment may have come at the end of this half-hour slog (yes, we watched the whole thing so you don’t have to) when Jenelle admits she almost skipped town after CPS took her kids.

“I just want to say f–k it and run,” Evans confesses as David attempts to wrangle some runaway pigs (of course).

This is a woman whose children had recently been removed to safer homes and she’s talking about fleeing.

JE vs CPS 8

It’s enough to make you wonder if she took the time to actually sit through this snooze-inducing video herself.

As she always does with this sort of thing, Jenelle has been furiously deleting negative comments in hopes of creating the impression that anyone is actually on her side.

Fortunately, the negativity keeps pouring in so rapidly that she’s having trouble running from the rising the tide of truth.

JE Comments 1

“If you were a damn mom you wouldn’t be putting your kids in danger with that man,” one viewer wrote.

“Janelle [sic] is a sociopath. Point Blank Done. Her precious babies should never live with her again!” another added.

“I hope everyone realize these people are pathological liars…. they couldn’t tell the truth if their lives depended on it,” a third chimed in.

JE Comments 2

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves.

We’ve included Jenelle’s entire video in case you feel the need to subject yourself to something so painful.

Although if you’re really in the mood to see someone utter one falsehood after another, you can find lots of OJ Simpson interviews online, and frankly, they’re far more entertaining.

September 8, 2020
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