Well, folks, like the inauguration of Joe Biden, this week’s episode of Jersey Shore has been a long time coming … but at least we made it.
After weeks of escalating tension — and living in the same freakin’ hotel — Angelina Pivarnick and Deena Nicole Cortese finally came face-to-face and addressed the bad blood between them stemming from the bridemaids’ speech Deena and friends delivered at Angelina’s wedding.
As you probably already know, this was the roast that shook the Shore franchise to its very foundations.
It’s the reason Snooki quit the show, and it’s the reason that JWoww has sat out most of this season.
So you can imagine our surprise when both Deeners and Ageliners immediately dropped their beef and picked up an appetizer.
Yes, it was no easy feat getting the ladies to sit down together.
In fact, we’re pretty sure Nikki Hall was brought in as a bargaining chip just to make sure the meeting actually happened.
But once Deena and Angelina were seated at the same table, the bad blood quickly evaporated.
“Angelina, do you mind passing me the bruschetta?” Deena asked.
And just like that, a dinner that could easily have turned into a scene out of Jerry Springer became what Ronnie called “the boringest couples dinner.”
Of course talk about Keurigs and honey preferences couldn’t squash the beef entirely.
The friends-turned-rivals met up the next day to “get the negative energy out of the way,” and this season finally delivered some satisfying drama.
“I’m exhausted from everything. I know the speech hit the wrong way, but it got bigger than it had to be, taking sides and fighting with each other, just crazy,” Deena said.
“I could have just forgot about it and texted you guys the next day saying, ‘I’m very upset,’ but I was really mad,” Angelina shot back.
“It wasn’t just about me. It was in front of everybody. Chris’ family was there,” she added, referring to her husband, Chris Larangeira.
“When I woke up the next morning, I regretted saying that, I didn’t mean it,” Deena explained.
“But then the footage got leaked and you were sort of feeding into it and stuff and you didn’t care about our actual relationships, you cared about what social media thought.
“It was kind of like you saw an opportunity, in my expense,” Deena continued.
“But you have to understand my feelings,” Angelina replied.
“I don’t really wanna go back and forth like this, but I was really upset.”
“It’s like 10 months later and we’re just gonna go around in circles. It wasn’t like we did this to ruin your wedding,” Ms. Cortese countered.
It could have gone on like this forever, but Deena nipped the situation in the bud by pointing out that the situation was made much worse than it needed to be by Instagram instigators.
“I think if social media didn’t get involved, I would have been able to move on a lot quicker,” said Cortese.
“If there’s s–t that happens in our family, it has to just stay here and then we can move past it on our own time without so many millions and millions of people,” she added.
“I am sorry about the speech, I’m ready to move on, at this point I feel like the family’s broken up and the boys hate it and it’s time.”
Referring to Deena as a member of the family is always a surefire way to heart, so it was at that point that Angelina decided she was “just over it,” before apologizing to Deena.
“I could have laughed at it, that’s one thing I did wrong. I could have laughed and moved on, but there’s nothing I can do, I can’t take back time I can’t make us step back into that night. There’s nothing I can do,” Angelina said.
Deena replied that if she could turn back time she “would have never said the f—–g speech at all.”
And so peace was restored to the land
But not before Deena turned the tables and pull a prank on the guys by pretending she was heading home.
Not too shaby, Deena.
But with Angelina (hopefully) squaring off against the big boss JWoww next week, we won’t have to rely on pretend drama for much longer.